Olive Oyl…

Olive Oyl..the worst employee I have every had the displeasure to deal with.

If she wasn’t a state employee she would hav most certainly been fired from her job.

I,personally, nor Monster, have ever met this woman. We do know she is not a computer generated voice on the other end of the, because you can easily piss her off.

Her many talents include

Not sending TD payments in a timely fashion.

Not responding to queries concerning your claim.

Not responding to messages at all.

Sending important documents with deadlines to the wrong address..for SEVEN months.

Not sending reimbursement checks for travel expenses. (33 days late ..even after the 60 day window allowed to process)

ExParte Communication with a QME doctor. (Ex Parte means..well basically..she was talking to the doctor without Monster’s knowledge. What she actually did was send his medical records to the QME  doctor and not to Monster. Which is a blatant no no)

I will be outlining all of her qualities in future posts. You’ll get to know ol’ Olive just like we do. I hope you grow to love her just as much, if not more, than the Monster Family.

Oh..my FAVORITE thing she does.

If you are having a conversation with Olive, one where she might come out looking a little silly. She states.” I am ending this conversation.”  If you repeat a question , for some reason during the course of your conversation she has chosen not to answer, she will state “I will not be badgered by you” Then repeat sentence number one and seriously, she hangs the fuck up on you.

Now.. Monster does not allow me to question Olive  in such a fashion as to offend this woman. Questions like..”Are you fucking kidding me?” are never allowed. So..I use all the skills I have acquired in my life as a public servant, working for the masses. I never curse at her, I never raise my voice at her. I am firm and resolute.

I do however, sit at home and run little scenarios in my head of things that would be horrible to have happen at work TO HER!

Sharting..loudly wetly..(the reason this one is awesome is because she apparently ’sits right near me” according to Pooh Bear who I spoke with on Tuesday)

tripping over nothing spilling coffee all over her clothes.

Sitting in her office chair and having the hydraulics mechanism go out so she sinks to the floor rather quickly.

Peek a boo boogers. (you know the ones..they poke in and out with each breath. The offender un aware)

tripping and falling..in front of a lot of people.

See.. I never wish her death, really. That would just be hateful. But I do wish her a quarter of the stress of our day when she FUCKS something up and doesn’t do her job!

We’ll hear more about Olive in the future.

Doctors

My husband has been treated pretty much off and on over the past five years by one doctor. His name is Dr. Coin.( well not really but that is what I’m going to call him) My husband likes him, feels comfortable around him. And most importantly trusts him.

When we moved to this new place we now call home in 2006, my husband, who also hates to fly, tried to find a doctor here in our state who would accept his insurance. Imagine his delight when he found a doctor who not only would accept this out of state insurance, but accept a workers compensation insurance! Woot! Right? Wrong oh wrong wrong wrong.

This new doctor, who we will call Dr.Asshat, was absolutely amazing. He didn’t read Monster’s file, which we brought in for him. He didn’t even glance over the paper work. He didn’t even physically touch Monster. He took him off of his pain medication and returned him to work the very next day. Oh, and no limitations what so ever. Now, this is after Dr. Coin had put Monster on TTD (temporary total disability with no lifting, no bending, no pushing, no pulling, of any thing over 10 lbs. No prolonged standing no prolonged sitting) In December of 2006. This is now January of 2007. Dr. Asshat has cured my husband with a shallow glance and a swish of his pen.

We filed an immediate appeal against Dr. Asshat with the state Bar. Who did an extensive investigation which determined Dr. Asshat has left this state and is practicing in another state. However, if you were to check the “new”state. He isn’t a registered dr. there. But he does have a mailing address.

We decide to find another doctor. We start asking around. Talking to people. Getting some real horror stories. We then come across the biggest cheese of a doctor for orthopaedics. We’ll call him Dr. I’mtheShit. Well, he would have been the shit, if the fucktard who is my husbands adjuster had not been such a moron and fucked it all up. (we’ll call her Olive Oyl cause her voice works) Olive Oyl refused to provide the doctor’s office with a fee booklet, she would not fax any necessary information to the doctors office.She did not return phone calls, she did not respond to requests for information about anything. Why you might ask? Because the insurance company liked Dr.Asshat’s report of my husband being CURED! Well, Dr. I’m the Shit too enough of Olive’s bullshit and dropped Monster like he was rabid.

To which Monster ended up going back to Dr. Coin.

In the mean time, we are trying to get on with our lives, we had opened a business, we were not collecting disability payments from w/comp. We were productive people. We were able to hold our heads up. With pride! and then the business didn’t do so well. We had to close it, Monster took a job at a convenience store. The whole time not receiving income from w/comp. He saw his doctor (Coin) for a Discogram in July of 2007.  Monster flew out to see his doctor every three months for maintenance and medication refills. We submitted the claims to the insurance, then we were reimbursed.

Keep in mind, at this point..we didn’t receive one penny from w/comp in the form of disability payments. Monster was working! He was taking his medication. Trying to maintain a healthy balance of lucidity and pain free moments. It was causing his OCD to become more exacerbated. Monster couldn’t concentrate at work, he was becoming more and more depressed because of the pain and his need to feel productive and not a Comp Monster.  He would tell anyone who would listen, I’m not faking I really do have back pain. I just don’t complain about it all the time. If he was asked about his back, he’d just answer, Oh it’s all right. Sometimes I wanted to kick him in his back so he would cry out in front of witnesses. I’d hear the murmurs and the bullshit talk from people. Suck it up is the man’s mantra. FUCK YOU!! is what I say. You don’t get to see him in the morning bent over to his knee’s because he hurts so much! Monster was afraid of his pain medication. He didn’t want to take too much. He was afraid of becoming addicted. So, he wouldn’t take them as he needed to, then he would be behind the pain and not be able to catch up. He’d listen to well intentioned fucking assholes who have no idea what kind of pain he was in, telling him he needs to get off his pain meds, because they are bad for your liver. He was only on Tylenol #3 at this point in 2007.

It gets so much more exciting in 2008!

What is a CompMonster?

A  compmonster is defined as someone who feigns an injury to obtain a settlement from their insurance company. To screw over their boss or business. These are the people who 20/20 and Dateline follow around with hidden cameras while they pretend to be injured for the insurance but carry boats on their heads, or plow a field or go golfing. The fakers the liars and the losers who are scamming the system.

So why did I choose this name? Well, it’s simple really. The insurance companies works on the premise that EVERY claimant is a CompMonster. No one, even those who have lost limbs in front of witnesses, can be believed to have a real and legitimate claim. Since this is the belief that is used to conduct business with claimants, every claimant is pretty much treated like a pile of shit. A turd that no matter how many times they flush.. it just won’t go away.

Since we are NOT going away.. and I am in the middle of causing one more hellacious stink, I like to call ‘em as I see ‘em.

You think we are CompMonsters, so why not give a name to the turd in the middle of the room. Thus the name.

Now, I feel the need to be fair to the insurance company (this may be the only time this happens so read carefully). I do know there are millions of people who are trying to get a free ride. The hardest injuries to prove are Stress, Migraines, and Back injuries. Think about it. How do you prove someone DOESN’T have a headache? You really can’t.

Those people who live their lives trying to take advantage of every system, have figured out there is a pretty good payday to be had here. They send me a check for sitting at home doing nothing. I can still play my video games, surf the net, and sleep whenever I want! This is awesome. They will retrain me for a better job. (you heard me right! You could be a minimum wage shit catcher with NO education and be retrained to work in a 75K a year field. seriously.)Pay me to go to this retraining. Gas mileage, food, clothing allowance. SWEET! and all I have to do is keep saying.. I have migraines. Prove I don’t.

Using that scenerio (and for every real there is three fakers) you can see why the insurance is leary of believing every claim that comes across their desk. Even though my husband has undergone spinal fusion surgery, he is still treated like he’s faking a back ache.

So. That is what this little ol’ blog is going to be about. All of the BULLSHIT we have to put up with from undereducated individuals who I would like to kick in the crotch so hard, their grandchildren will have Nike on their foreheads.

Oh.. and if I have personally invited you to read this blog.. please do not refer to me by my name. I have to maintain my alter ego for legal reasons. I sure as hell don’t want to be sued because I called an insurance adjuster a fucking retard or incompetent or any of the other choice adjectives I may choose to use.